Man cut

I was super pumped to hear that JC Penneys was having a month of free haircuts for kids! How great is that? My kid's usually look like amazonian bushmen so this was great news for me.
   To be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to take them in. Truth be told, i have this weird phobia when it comes to "free" stuff. If I take said free stuff, I feel like I OWE them my business. OR I feel like a mooch. Now don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that this is a company decision and has nothing to do with the employee. This is just one of my bizarre issues. One of this day's I will do an entire blog...or two about all of my phobias.
  So I made the appointment and the only day that worked for our schedule was a Wednesday. No biggy, but I knew I was going to have to take all.the.kids.
  Imagine if you will feral cat's that have been thrown in an icy bucket of water. That is about the same scene anyone who had the pleasure of waiting in the seating area at the salon had. I really don't know what it is about being in public with the kids is but it ALWAYS brings out the worst in them. They cannot under any sort of threat keep their hands to themselves.
  By the time it was their turn I was sweating like a menopausal bushman and looked about as awesome. Thankfully once the boys were corralled it was fine. The only situation was Hunter using one of the chairs as a tilt-a-whirl. The poor girl cutting Cole's hair was having her first child, and I'm sure that after today she is wishing she wasn't having any.
  Here are the bushmen post grooming:

Titus the Toe Malizio

All of you who know me know I LOVE to find little things about my kids to make fun of. I know, I know, jerk alert right *here*. But seriously, is there any OTHER reason to have offspring??

So Titus is about eight months and is soooo sweet, I really dont' know where he came from. Silas who is three was snarky and sarcastic coming out of me. He even gave the doctor a sarcastic look while he was still coming out. Anyways, so Titus is so nice and so it took me a while to make fun of him. As in under one minute (which was the amount of time it took to locate his big toe). I have told many of you this story and pointed it out but this is just nuts. The kid could lose a thumb and his big toe would replace it...with added length. He uses his toe to crawl. The grip he gets from those suckers are about the same as a tentacle on an octopus. Let me show you...I warn you though, its not a great pic because The Toe doesn't stop for long.
That is my index finger just so you get an idea of the size. As I like to share, your welcome :). It makes me laugh more than you could even realise.
   On a side note, Cole had his tooth taken out yesterday. Something is wrong with him, I really think he feels no pain. They ripped out a nickle sized tooth and all he had to say about it was that it didn't hurt...and can I play the ipad now? weird. And that's not even what I mock HIM for.
Just so you know I do love my kids I will add a nice picture of Titus so you aren't all focused on his toe....

I know, cute right? Stop looking at his big toes....

Dentist

I named my post dentist only to titillate you dear reader, because who REALLY can honestly pass up a post named dentist?? That being said two of the man child's had their six month appointments. Hunter packed up five Lego guys while Cole chose Star wars Origami (this is reading pleasure for him, i would not kid...).
  Cole is called back first. Hunter and I sit in the waiting room. Hunter also makes many MANY noises, sounds, voices, etc. Being a super hero whose power is megaignore all, I didn't hear a thing. But I digress...the Lady who was cleaning Cole's teeth hustles him out and quietly says to me "He did GREAT buuutttt....he has an abscessed tooth."
  I immediately hear cheering in my own mind with confetti flying and fireworks. I win, I win!!!! Mom of the Year AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, how does a mom NOT KNOW her kid has an INFECTED TOOTH??!!! Well, apparently *this* mom. Upon further mental look back, I DO remember him saying something about a sore tooth but just assumed he was being dramatic and it was just ready to come out. No, no it wasn't....
  So needless to say, the hygienist was SHOCKED he wasn't in more pain and tomorrow we have an appointment to get that sucker pulled. Thankfully megaignore all was smart enough to take her kid to the dentist so that someone else would listen to her poor child's cry of pain.....
  Lesson learned I would hope...Cole did ask if he could keep the tooth. Between you and me, I know he just wants the moola from the tooth fairy.

You lucky lucky dogs...I am here to give YOU an insight into my altogether, insane life. I always MEAN to start a blog but then my sweats get a hole in them or I have ice cream all over my fingers and it just doesn't happen. Lammmmeee, I know. So thanks to Nina, I feel like I should start up at this again. Here's why. My kids are hilarious. Not like, "Oh little billy just did the SILLIEST thing!!". No, I am talking sick, twisted and fully ON FIRE hilarious!!! So this is my gift to mankind, my life.

So while I am in the midst of this that guy up there..totally passed out..with an ipad on his face. Like I said, I couldn't make this up. So enjoy :)