Let the games begin

You know how Christmas is supposed to be kind of a kid's thing...not so much. I literally cannot help myself. Part of it is finding epic deals that are better than crack and the other half is seeing my kids play with the stuff I give them. Part of the great deals are online and the other part is all in my mind. Supposedly black Friday is all about getting great deals, right? No, no it's not. It is ALL about the people watching my friends.

The whole point is watching the unraveling of normally mentally stable people come to a tragic end. You factor in a few things. One, they have just spent an entire day before with their family. My family is normal, but I'm sure yours is messed up. Two, the guilt of having eaten enough for a small apocalyptic community to survive on for a few years adds to the mental imbalance tipping the wrong way. Three, you add the time. For some reason, the ONLY way you are in the black Friday Olympics is if you get up at 1 am, put your game face on and have Eye of the Tiger on your mental radio loop. If you are really in it to win you you have it blasting from  a speaker dangling from your neck. Or it's on your Black Friday belt that contains pepper spray, walkie talkies and a water bottle that matches your sweat band. Then you add in the waiting. Lots and lots of waiting in line. Now sometimes you can strike up a jovial conversation but most of the time, no.And when you see that employee heading towards the door to finally unlock it, there are are no friends. Its a sprint to make it to those Lego's that are 13 cents off regular price. You better believe someone is going down. Now you have all your stuff in your hand and an arm load of $3 DVDS that you never would have purchased in the first place but you felt the need to at least have some sort of deal to brag about. You end up buying a bunch of pity presents for a job well done...for yourself.

Please take note of whom you should and should not fight. Proper black Friday shopping calls for the proper hydration so make sure you put the whiskey down before 4 pm the following night....if you can handle it being that you are hanging out with your family.
Seriously love this. Every year I go. I go to mock everyone and get a years worth of total bafflement over the human race. It is absolutely worth it just for this. Hopefully I will have more to come after black Friday :)

Squirrel

I am the WORST, EVER. at paying attention. Fairly certain that I had to write this sentence about four times because I couldn't remember what I was typing. Just to make my husband happy, I took an ADD test online. I can't remember what it said but I think I failed because I saw a squirrel....

I cannot even begin to tell you how often I have asked my beloved husband to repeat something he said. He does not enunciate!!! It's not my fault!!

"woman! PLEASE! If you tried you COULD pay attention!!!!!!!"
I really, really do. This is how it goes in my head.
Enter; husband. "Hey, so I have to tell you about......"
Me: OK, I'm going to use my razor sharp wife paying attention skills! I'm ALREADY a good wife!!!!!!Bring it husband!! Lazer like paying attention.
Husband: And so if you.....blah, blah, blah, blah....
Me: Holy cow, I need to pluck my eyebrows...I was totally going to do that yesterday but after being distracted by my toe hairs that rivaled that alpaca I saw on the Internet I totally forgot....I think it looks like this...

Oh jeez,I also totally forgot to shave my toe hairs. EVERYONE is going to know that I have to braid those suckers....
Husband: and just put it.....blah blah blah
Me: Oh for the love, he is halfway through saying what he was telling me. Is there any way to salvage this so he won't know I was thinking of sparkly things and uni brows??? Maybe if I read his lips for a minute....

His lips are little like mine...our kids have little lips....I wonder if we are going to have to have surgery or if our lips are going to be swallowed up by our faces...

I wonder why our lips are so small...along with my beady little eyes....I should start doing bead art again!! That was fun!!
Husband: Anna!! Anna!!
Me: *POOF* I was listening!!!!!!

Husband: OK, what did I say??
Me: You said....wow, I'm super hosed right now...I still like bead art though..

The cycle of life

So this morning I was reading through an article about a young girl. She had posted a pic of herself in her skivvies, all to promote healthy self awareness. Great and good for her. And my thighs also thought the same thing.
 How many of us do this cycle ALL THE TIME. I will lay the cycle out for you....
 You wake up, birds singing, your children leap into your arms with loving hugs and kisses. You skip down the hallway, happy as a lark when you pass the mirror....WTF. (why the face???)

One, two, three, four....annnnnddddd your day is ruined. THAT'S IT!!!!! I'm going on a diet. Because along with your chins your thighs and butt decide it's time to strike. During the night they got together with your pants and all decided to make you feel like a manatee.

"Oh, I'm your fat pants? Sorry, but I have to break up with you. It's just not working out. I hear your sweats are still available....".

This was all that was available, sorry. So then comes the plan. I am going to eat ONLY healthy low-cal food ALL day!!!!!!! It starts out super exciting. You pull out from the back of the cupboard your diet food from the last cycle, dust it off and think "wow, this looks yummy!!!!!!!!!!"

Yummy!!! So excited to be on a DIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am going to go over to Pinterest and find some GREAT workouts because diet AND exercise is KEY. Doodly, doo, doodly dum..lah, lah,lah....WHAT IS THIS DELICIOUS LOOKING PIE??????????????????????

Well, I will just pin this for LATER when I have to bring something to share with OTHER people who don't have the will power that I do....Holy mother of St. Jude, IS THAT MADE OUT OF OREOS??????????
 OK, I just need to walk away from this. Oh, I know, I will move all of the bad food out of the house so that I don't eat it. Like these M&M's, I'll just set them over here...and have just five. They always say that depriving yourself of treats is bad because then you just crave more....
Have these always been so good????? I really need something salty to wash this down with...Just three chips, that's all.....
OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP ME!!!!!!!

And then I finish everything in the house because I have no self control. And then I cry myself to sleep and tell myself that I will start my diet again tomorrow....

Who am I kidding, I'm not going to diet tomorrow. My husband bought me sweat pants for an anniversary present for a reason...Better luck next January pants!!!!!!!!!!! I'm preserving healthy body image for the generations to come!!!

Liar, liar

Several thing's have transpired in the past few months that have made me want to write a post about this. As a stay at home mom and just a mom in general, I struggle with having it all together. I mean, come on, my husband knows me so well he bought me sweat pants for our anniversary. It wasn't because I work out all the time, let me tell you.
  I'm not talking about looking good because, honestly, if I had the money I would look pretty fly all the time. I'm talking about the lovey dovey, "my kids are so precious and GOOD all the time". Acting like the little sillies only do naughty things once every other day.
Your a liar. Annnddd I'm calling you out on it because it's not fair to all the other mom's out there struggling to keep their crap together and not fall apart in front of the other mom's at church, preschool, friend groups, etc. This is why you join a wine club...er, I mean BOOK club. Kidding! Kind of...
  I clearly, CLEARLY remember the year that my first son was about 1 and a half and our second son was a few months old. I cannot even express how thankful I was that my husband told me to be a stay at home mom, it saved us from a lot. BUT I realised REALLY quickly that, more than I knew, my identity was wrapped up in being a mom who was able to get  out of the house at least twice a week. And so I started to lose my mind....slowly but surely. And then I became bitter. REALLY bitter. I was mad at my husband and about how my life was. Here is something that is true, IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US. There is this window of time for about a year or two with moms that have kids where you can't stand your life.
  But I have a secret, it gets better. It's not going to be tomorrow, it's not even going to be a few weeks down the road. What you will notice is, that over time, it's gotten easier and you are able to enjoy most things again.

 I can still remember being so angry at my husband for the tenth week in a row that I felt like we needed marriage counseling. It was a moment where I wanted to punch him in the face and run him over with the minivan. We sat down with our pastor, who forewarned us that he wasn't good at marriage counseling, to get stuff off MY chest ;). He listened, said "that sucks", and gave us a pamphlet for a marriage seminar. We didn't go, we didn't have the money. Thank God for amazing parents who listened patiently to me rant about my husband and kids, all while telling me it gets better (and secretly calling my husband to tell him it gets better...and not to leave their daughter for the love of all that's holy!!!).
  I completely feel like you need to make sure you are plugged into groups that get you out of the house. You NEED to be in MOPS or a women's bible study or WHATEVER, just so you can meet with other people that have been through it. Don't fake it till you make it. Because you won't make it.
  Please feel free to drop me a message ANYTIME about your confessions. There were times I wondered why I was a mom, why I was still staying at home and how I was going to make it through. *this* person you are right now, WILL NOT be the same person once your kids can wipe their ow butts. Once they can get dressed by themselves (and seriously, let the kid dress himself/herself. You will look back and laugh at the underwear on the head someday). Make themselves breakfast. Your life and the person you are will come back to you. At some point you will again do your hair and wear makeup....for a date.
  The one thing I really want to leave with you is not to compare yourself. People have said to me a hundred times over "Really?? You feel that way about your kids/life/husband??". Let's be real with each other because it takes a village to raise these kids!! There are no secrets in a village people!!!

A little sand in your shoes

So this kind of goes along with the whole idea of what I said yesterday, I have no goals :). But this past month I have been really allowing my heart to hear what the Lord has to say to me. Now hold onto your muffin tops, what I am about to say is going to be shocking....I am learning that I am created to be a reflection of Christ.This is not new information to me, but I am really allowing it to touch my stony heart! And guess what,this means that what I want doesn't really matter!!!

I know, right now the hair on the back of 95% of you necks is standing on edge. How could I POSSIBLY allow myself to put the rights of others in front of my own?? Won't I wake up one day, panicked, fat and STILL barefoot wishing I hadn't wasted my life living for OTHERS???? Oh the AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I know that the years I have spent fighting for what I want are soooooo worthwhile. Like having to keep up with how everyone lives their life's has been great on my credit cards....womp, womp. Or, feeling like I am a big fat loser for being "just" a stay at home mom with only an AA. I know that most of the time what I am saying is picture like this, because I pictured MY life like this before I knew what I "wanted".

 I can assure you, this is NOT the case.For a long time I felt like I was a loser for not working and making my OWN money. Or that I wasn't doing something for ME. I'm kinda over that lie.
  I want nothing more than to be what I have been created for, that is being a helpmate to my husband and being a glorification of God! Oh, that was nails on a chalkboard, wasn't it ;)!! Well I can promise you I am no where near where I want to be BUT I also feel like you can see I am a real person who wants nothing more than to laugh and make fun of myself and family, all under the umbrella of who I am in Christ! And now that I have set feminism back sixty years, I am going to go put my apron on and get myself pregnant ;)

Monday monday

I feel like most people grew up with goals in mind. Whether it be a lawyer, a photographer, a mom, whatevs it was for you. Well not me. I kid you not, I honestly had no goals. Well, not completely true. According to MASH, I was going to live in a mansion, marry a rich guy, have 18 kids and be SUPER skinny and hot.

Seriously don't know what happened...I was THIS close.... 1/4.5 of that came true because I have 4 of those 18 kids. I remember thinking that I wanted to be a horse trainer but KNEW even at that young age I wouldn't be able to afford it. For those of you who didn't know I rode/showed horses from like 11-17. It was an amazing experience but an eye opener. Knowing even then, it took a LOT of money to be REALLY good at showing horses. It's kind of strange that I knew that so young. Let me tell you though, I am so content not being involved in something that is a bottomless pit of emotion or money or time. I am thankful that the Lord gave me a SEMI content heart, not that He isn't constantly working on it! How many people do you look at and just SEE that it is never enough?? My wedding I think could have used a dreamer though :). My poor mom....I hated EVERY second of planning my wedding. When I said I never had any dreams, I meant it. Planning a wedding was like a bird pecking out my brain, constantly. At one point I told my mom I didn't care, she could pick whatever she wanted! Having a Hawaiian theme wedding was NOT on in my imagination though. I guess Kurt grew up with dreams of Hawaiian weddings...

Needless to say, I will be completely content with whatever my kids decide to be or do as long as they love the Lord with their whole hearts and work to the best of their abilities. Some people may say that this makes me a person with no goals....

I know!!! Taking the grossest pictures ever of myself is my goal in life ;)

where do they come from?

You know those mornings you wake up and wonder "where did these kid's come from"? It started last night when, after being in bed, Hunter came out of the room BAWLING. Kurt asked him what was wrong. Well, apparently he didn't do his 20 minutes of reading, which results in no signature. The way he was crying you would think they make the kids walk down a hallway while yelling "you didn't finish your reading, loser!!!" and throwing rotten fruit. So we told him we would wake him up early to do his reading. Kurt had to leave super early to go to work so it was up to me. I know, I'm laughing already, too!! By some miracle of the Lord, the kid's got up on their own and did their homework. My alarm went of a million times but for some reason I didn't hear it....weird.
So everyone gets off to school and I am getting ready to take Silas to preschool when I see two missed calls. And two messages. Both are from my OCD son. I love this kid. He is the one who got Hunter up to do his reading. He makes his own lunch and his dad's everyday. And smiles while making a mental check list of the awesomeness he accomplishes every day. It hurts to be that awesome. His clothes are ALWAYS stellar. He gets that from me...
So the message is him saying he forgot his lunch. So no worries, I swing it in. The office lady was laughing because she said he got right off the bus and ran into the office to call me. I told HER I brought him a xanax and a glass of wine to calm himself. His initials are VCM and little did we know his name would stand for very controlled malizio. The Toe will be proud to know him someday.
It's just so funny because we also have bipolar man who goes from super insanely happy to someone crushed his hopes and dreams of being a circus clown sad. Silas is just that way. He gets in the car from preschool and tells me he doesn't want his shirt on anymore

You may also notice the remnants of a mustache. The boys had mustache night last night at AWANAS. Silas would not allow me to wipe it off. Pick your battles people. He was also dancing while I took the above picture.

The one in the chair is his natural clothing for nap time, the nap he tells me EVERY DAY he doesn't want to take. And when I tell him he MUST put on pants to play outside he chooses *these*. Yes, they are his brothers 18 month old guido tracksuit pants. I'll let that awkward sink in for just a minute....
All in all, life comes together even if you have the most opposite people on the planet living together. Cole clearly gets his style from me...

Please take note of the carefully placed hair and the gently clasped hands to appear as model like and smooth as possible. And now, my mad dressing skills are always displayed for my children to glean from

In my defense, Kurt bought me those pants. I seriously don't know how I am not approached daily by those scam modeling agencies. Only someone who is truly thankful for all they have been given, including the most OCD of children, would post a picture of themselves looking that fab :)

Sorry for the delay

So it's been a while, I know. I have been really, really busy.

Just kidding, I'm lazy.
I do admit that I dragged my husband and kid's out to Jones Creek Farm to pick apples last weekend. It was so so fun. The owner and I used to do preschool together when the kids were younger and it's so great to support local farmers! Their apples are great and incredibly cheap!But honestly the best part may have been my beloved husband. Now, all of you men out there have been there. Your wife pulls the super excited jazz hands over something she thinks is going to be a life changing family experience. You on the other hand would rather sit on the toilet with your smart phone until your legs are so numb you CAN'T walk off without the aid of a wheel chair or one of your kid's as a make shift crutch. But the last sermon was on being a Godly husband and you KNOW she didn't forget it, because it was just two hours ago. And she took a notebooks worth of notes....and left it on your pillow. So being the ever humble servant that you are you head out on this amazing family journey.
So now we are back to OUTSIDE my mind...we get to the apple farm and the kids are seriously dressed in awesome. Like usual. I had to tell Cole he could not wear jeans and a jacket because it was almost eighty. At least Silas was not dressed like this.

He still won't believe me when I tell him that part goes in the front. So get there and the farm is set up with about 20+ rows of apple trees. All different varieties. I'm pumped. Kurt has a fat kid on his back. You can imagine his joy. We take the kid's down the rows of apples tasting to see what kind would be sweet enough. The kid's want to help pull the wagon used for carrying the apples while Silas is sitting in it. He wanted to play on my phone the whole time I am trying to make this magical family day happen. About half a box later everyone is tired and hot. The real kicker is they were all hungry. You did read that part about the tasting all the apples right? So I just want to go down ONE MORE row and about fifteen people have the same idea. It's completely blocked off with the other family wagons so I move to the side. The best part of this is, I'm pulling the wagon with Silas inside. As usual I am enjoying the moment and may not be totally aware of the situation. Kurt is behind me with fatty mcgee on his back praying that this will end. As we go around the other people the wagon tips and I just keep going. It's great. Silas is holding on for dear life, Kurt is looking at me in disbelief and Cole and Hunter are munching on apples watching it all go down. This was pretty much the time we turned around, the end of the magic. Silas screamed loud enough for everyone to think he was being kidnapped and we were awful parents. And believe me that was the FIRST time that has ever happened....

This was pre-magic. See that fat little kid on his back? That is like carrying a small adult.

Hahahahaha!!! Oh WAIT. Kurt was pulling the wagon also!! My bad, maybe that's why the magic was harder for him to see!!

Silas and Hunter helping.....

Cole actually was helping in this one :)!

He is chunky but he's cute!!!

Some of the goods!! Needless to say, it was a blast and we had a good time. I laughed a lot and enjoyed the day. Now I need to make something with the apples. I have said for the past week that I am going to make apple butter.

Just kidding! I'm lazy, remember!!

Fight club exists!!!!

For some of you who don't know, I live in the ghetto. I may not be in the projects or Antoine Dodson's home town but pretty close. No one's snatchin up our kids or wives

Since the weather has been amazing, the young hooligans have got the hot blood in em! Last night Kurt had gone to get the kids at AWANAS and Titus and I were hanging out watching TV. Yes, I was wearing a wife beater, Titus was topless and his diaper was down to his knees full. At least I wasn't eating Twinkies. I digress though....So I get a call from my neighbor and he tells me two kids are fighting  outside! Oh man, I LOVE IT when two kids go at it in the hood!! So you better believe I pulled myself up off this sticky couch and HAULED out to the front to watch it all go down. After I had my seat all set up and my popcorn in hand, I was able to really enjoy it all going down.
What we had was two boys from two different cars stopped and had themselves a fight club...from 1802. Now, I have seen a fight or two but I feel like these boys should have been wearing bloomers with how they were layin their smack down. Their dukes were up, I kid you not. And I feel like they were saying in their heads "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee". What must have happened was one boy slapped the other, in the face, with his glove....over a lady. Because here is a picture of the fight

It was odd but so great. The most disappointing part was how quickly it broke up!! They had stopped in the road so people honked before anything really good happened. But let me tell you, the baby and I sure enjoyed the show!! Why not bring a baby to fight club? Because Fight Club doesn't exist!! Yet another reason to live in Mount Vernon. And how much do I love that my neighbor called to give me a heads up about the show in the front yard.

Let there be COLOR!!!!!!!!!!

So every few months, maybe more like six, I get really sick of not having more "color" in my house. I go back and forth because I really sometimes want to keep it classsssssyyyy....BUT, I love love love me some bright crazy colors!!!! My friend Sarah has wanted me to repaint my boring chairs for years. Since I am a pinterest crackhead, I got some inspiration from there. Insert my happy face and wheel turning brain :). OK, so here is the original chairs

Boo, hiss, LAAAMMMEEE. So I headed to my local walmart in my sweats. When in Rome, duh. And I found THESE colors!!!!

I KNOW, right??? Fun!! Party in a paint can ;). My mother was trying SO VERY HARD not to give me the disapproving mother look. Shes a "cool" mom now, supportive and all :). So I sanded those suckers down. OK, OK, I kinda did. I'm lazy, alright? I did an OK job. First one was done and came out looking like this:

BAM!!! Love them!!!!! I can't even tell you how much I love this color!! Onto the next.

They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. Awesome. On a side note I ended up using two cans of spray for each of color. I didn't super love the spray paint and am thinking I will stick with paint from now on. I used a white primer/base for the chairs before I sprayed them. I also wanted to add a little something extra so I painted this on the chair but am not sure. I'm going to sleep on it.

Let me know if you love or hate it, just be nice ;). Done. Now I need a ding-dong and to find where my kids are....

On a side note I had a root canal on Monday because my tooth turned gray. What?????? I know, so gross. Have a look :)

It was dead. Cool. The doctor wanted to know if I had ever been hit in the face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sniff, sniff*, oh doc, your a HOOT!! I have four boys and I refer you back to my last post where my little angel punched my chest but missed my face. Not always that lucky doc. I honestly don't know when it happened but at least its all better now. Until another kid punches me in the face

And then there was one

So Silas started preschool today. The preschool I did last year was a co-op preschool. No, it was not a dirty hippie school where no one bathed or wore bra's and only dined on organic home grown mung beans while singing around Our light of the world campfire. It was one where the parent's ran it so we did work days and snack parent. We actually just sat around and talked about our epic parenting skills. The point of all that word vomit was that I always stayed in the class with the kid. He is used to my face. In his face. ALL THE TIME.
Last week we went for a little preliminary viewing. He clung to me the whole time while I proceeded to sweat like a hippo in Africa. Yes, they sweat. Google it. It was hot that day, don't judge. He had three other friend's that he knew from water babies but that wasn't really good enough for him. He was pretty pumped about his name in his own "mail box" and on the table where he is sitting. So over the course of the weekend I have really been talking up the whole school deal. I even talked up snack time when you know it's just a bunch of Cheerios and stale raisins us moms throw in a bag because we forgot it was our snack day.
When we got to school today, he was a little apprehensive but looked like it was going to be OK. As I walked towards his door he started saying NO, no, no. It was seriously the Green Mile moment. When we finally got to the door we walked in and I showed him his mat and where he was sitting. Nope, he was not having it. So my sweet friend Kendall who is the teachers aid was kind enough to grab him for me. The kid went nuts, folks. He was helicoptering his arms and legs and fully cold cocked my face, twice. I skipped down the hallway and let those jazz hands fly!! Good luck teachers!!
Here's the BEFORE the "long walk"

I know, so precious. Here's the leaving me at preschool rendition

Only his pants looked really nice when i picked him up :). Ahh such is the life of a child who loves his mother more than life itself. The worst part is he is going to AWANA's tonight and then on Friday I am dropping him off in childcare while I go to a bible study. I will pray for him though...and save up for therapy!

The boys are back in town!

So this labor day Kurt talked me into going down to Olympia so he could golf on Monday morning. Normally I would be ALL OVER THAT...aka, why yes, I WOULD love help with the kids, food and getting to sleep in. BUT, the last time we came home from Olympia, I almost quit my life. We were halfway home when traffic STOPPED. On the freeway. We sat there for two hours while all three lanes merged onto an on ramp to be routed through town. I have never been so helplessly angry at an inanimate object, EVER. Or all the people who can not merge correctly.
  That was a side note, sorry. So we did end up going down and it was fun as always. I really honestly love my in-laws so I got to hang with them and I love my girlfriends. It's really hard to see everyone when work and life happen. So when I was able to get together with two of them in one place it was amazing. We only had about 20 meltdowns for each kid in an hour and a half span but it was worth it to catch up for three minutes!Then another friend was able to stop by the rents for an hour, so so great!! The ride home was a success with no traffic, thank you Jesus!!
  Today was the first day back to school. Normally I am leading a parade down first street with my jazz hands flying when it's back to school time but this year the hands were a little sad! The kids have had so much fun this summer playing with their neighbor friends and each other that I hate to send them back! They have been staying up until 10 every night and getting up at 8:30. Needless to say, last night and this morning were a reality check. I had to go wake Hunter up and he is always a morning cuddler. He reached for me to pick him up and I did because he is getting so big. It won't be long until he doesn't want me to pick him up anymore or I physically CAN'T. I was holding him and I suddenly got a whiff of Old Spice. So I asked him if he was wearing pit stick. He told me no three times but then said "I have it on my feet, not my pits!". Awesome. So I managed to get two boys out the door in time for the bus, one with slightly nicer smelling feet than the other. Here is Cole. I want you to know he was opening the front door every two minutes because he wanted to be first in line for the bus stop...nerd...

That's for third grade FYI...OK and here is Hunter....

Yes his socks are up that high on purpose. Here is how Cole prepared for his first day...

Silas is always there for a "leg up"....wah,wah,wah.....

Man cut

I was super pumped to hear that JC Penneys was having a month of free haircuts for kids! How great is that? My kid's usually look like amazonian bushmen so this was great news for me.
   To be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to take them in. Truth be told, i have this weird phobia when it comes to "free" stuff. If I take said free stuff, I feel like I OWE them my business. OR I feel like a mooch. Now don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that this is a company decision and has nothing to do with the employee. This is just one of my bizarre issues. One of this day's I will do an entire blog...or two about all of my phobias.
  So I made the appointment and the only day that worked for our schedule was a Wednesday. No biggy, but I knew I was going to have to take all.the.kids.
  Imagine if you will feral cat's that have been thrown in an icy bucket of water. That is about the same scene anyone who had the pleasure of waiting in the seating area at the salon had. I really don't know what it is about being in public with the kids is but it ALWAYS brings out the worst in them. They cannot under any sort of threat keep their hands to themselves.
  By the time it was their turn I was sweating like a menopausal bushman and looked about as awesome. Thankfully once the boys were corralled it was fine. The only situation was Hunter using one of the chairs as a tilt-a-whirl. The poor girl cutting Cole's hair was having her first child, and I'm sure that after today she is wishing she wasn't having any.
  Here are the bushmen post grooming:

Titus the Toe Malizio

All of you who know me know I LOVE to find little things about my kids to make fun of. I know, I know, jerk alert right *here*. But seriously, is there any OTHER reason to have offspring??

So Titus is about eight months and is soooo sweet, I really dont' know where he came from. Silas who is three was snarky and sarcastic coming out of me. He even gave the doctor a sarcastic look while he was still coming out. Anyways, so Titus is so nice and so it took me a while to make fun of him. As in under one minute (which was the amount of time it took to locate his big toe). I have told many of you this story and pointed it out but this is just nuts. The kid could lose a thumb and his big toe would replace it...with added length. He uses his toe to crawl. The grip he gets from those suckers are about the same as a tentacle on an octopus. Let me show you...I warn you though, its not a great pic because The Toe doesn't stop for long.
That is my index finger just so you get an idea of the size. As I like to share, your welcome :). It makes me laugh more than you could even realise.
   On a side note, Cole had his tooth taken out yesterday. Something is wrong with him, I really think he feels no pain. They ripped out a nickle sized tooth and all he had to say about it was that it didn't hurt...and can I play the ipad now? weird. And that's not even what I mock HIM for.
Just so you know I do love my kids I will add a nice picture of Titus so you aren't all focused on his toe....

I know, cute right? Stop looking at his big toes....

Dentist

I named my post dentist only to titillate you dear reader, because who REALLY can honestly pass up a post named dentist?? That being said two of the man child's had their six month appointments. Hunter packed up five Lego guys while Cole chose Star wars Origami (this is reading pleasure for him, i would not kid...).
  Cole is called back first. Hunter and I sit in the waiting room. Hunter also makes many MANY noises, sounds, voices, etc. Being a super hero whose power is megaignore all, I didn't hear a thing. But I digress...the Lady who was cleaning Cole's teeth hustles him out and quietly says to me "He did GREAT buuutttt....he has an abscessed tooth."
  I immediately hear cheering in my own mind with confetti flying and fireworks. I win, I win!!!! Mom of the Year AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, how does a mom NOT KNOW her kid has an INFECTED TOOTH??!!! Well, apparently *this* mom. Upon further mental look back, I DO remember him saying something about a sore tooth but just assumed he was being dramatic and it was just ready to come out. No, no it wasn't....
  So needless to say, the hygienist was SHOCKED he wasn't in more pain and tomorrow we have an appointment to get that sucker pulled. Thankfully megaignore all was smart enough to take her kid to the dentist so that someone else would listen to her poor child's cry of pain.....
  Lesson learned I would hope...Cole did ask if he could keep the tooth. Between you and me, I know he just wants the moola from the tooth fairy.