Fight club exists!!!!

For some of you who don't know, I live in the ghetto. I may not be in the projects or Antoine Dodson's home town but pretty close. No one's snatchin up our kids or wives

Since the weather has been amazing, the young hooligans have got the hot blood in em! Last night Kurt had gone to get the kids at AWANAS and Titus and I were hanging out watching TV. Yes, I was wearing a wife beater, Titus was topless and his diaper was down to his knees full. At least I wasn't eating Twinkies. I digress though....So I get a call from my neighbor and he tells me two kids are fighting  outside! Oh man, I LOVE IT when two kids go at it in the hood!! So you better believe I pulled myself up off this sticky couch and HAULED out to the front to watch it all go down. After I had my seat all set up and my popcorn in hand, I was able to really enjoy it all going down.
What we had was two boys from two different cars stopped and had themselves a fight club...from 1802. Now, I have seen a fight or two but I feel like these boys should have been wearing bloomers with how they were layin their smack down. Their dukes were up, I kid you not. And I feel like they were saying in their heads "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee". What must have happened was one boy slapped the other, in the face, with his glove....over a lady. Because here is a picture of the fight

It was odd but so great. The most disappointing part was how quickly it broke up!! They had stopped in the road so people honked before anything really good happened. But let me tell you, the baby and I sure enjoyed the show!! Why not bring a baby to fight club? Because Fight Club doesn't exist!! Yet another reason to live in Mount Vernon. And how much do I love that my neighbor called to give me a heads up about the show in the front yard.

Let there be COLOR!!!!!!!!!!

So every few months, maybe more like six, I get really sick of not having more "color" in my house. I go back and forth because I really sometimes want to keep it classsssssyyyy....BUT, I love love love me some bright crazy colors!!!! My friend Sarah has wanted me to repaint my boring chairs for years. Since I am a pinterest crackhead, I got some inspiration from there. Insert my happy face and wheel turning brain :). OK, so here is the original chairs

Boo, hiss, LAAAMMMEEE. So I headed to my local walmart in my sweats. When in Rome, duh. And I found THESE colors!!!!

I KNOW, right??? Fun!! Party in a paint can ;). My mother was trying SO VERY HARD not to give me the disapproving mother look. Shes a "cool" mom now, supportive and all :). So I sanded those suckers down. OK, OK, I kinda did. I'm lazy, alright? I did an OK job. First one was done and came out looking like this:

BAM!!! Love them!!!!! I can't even tell you how much I love this color!! Onto the next.

They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. Awesome. On a side note I ended up using two cans of spray for each of color. I didn't super love the spray paint and am thinking I will stick with paint from now on. I used a white primer/base for the chairs before I sprayed them. I also wanted to add a little something extra so I painted this on the chair but am not sure. I'm going to sleep on it.

Let me know if you love or hate it, just be nice ;). Done. Now I need a ding-dong and to find where my kids are....

On a side note I had a root canal on Monday because my tooth turned gray. What?????? I know, so gross. Have a look :)

It was dead. Cool. The doctor wanted to know if I had ever been hit in the face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sniff, sniff*, oh doc, your a HOOT!! I have four boys and I refer you back to my last post where my little angel punched my chest but missed my face. Not always that lucky doc. I honestly don't know when it happened but at least its all better now. Until another kid punches me in the face

And then there was one

So Silas started preschool today. The preschool I did last year was a co-op preschool. No, it was not a dirty hippie school where no one bathed or wore bra's and only dined on organic home grown mung beans while singing around Our light of the world campfire. It was one where the parent's ran it so we did work days and snack parent. We actually just sat around and talked about our epic parenting skills. The point of all that word vomit was that I always stayed in the class with the kid. He is used to my face. In his face. ALL THE TIME.
Last week we went for a little preliminary viewing. He clung to me the whole time while I proceeded to sweat like a hippo in Africa. Yes, they sweat. Google it. It was hot that day, don't judge. He had three other friend's that he knew from water babies but that wasn't really good enough for him. He was pretty pumped about his name in his own "mail box" and on the table where he is sitting. So over the course of the weekend I have really been talking up the whole school deal. I even talked up snack time when you know it's just a bunch of Cheerios and stale raisins us moms throw in a bag because we forgot it was our snack day.
When we got to school today, he was a little apprehensive but looked like it was going to be OK. As I walked towards his door he started saying NO, no, no. It was seriously the Green Mile moment. When we finally got to the door we walked in and I showed him his mat and where he was sitting. Nope, he was not having it. So my sweet friend Kendall who is the teachers aid was kind enough to grab him for me. The kid went nuts, folks. He was helicoptering his arms and legs and fully cold cocked my face, twice. I skipped down the hallway and let those jazz hands fly!! Good luck teachers!!
Here's the BEFORE the "long walk"

I know, so precious. Here's the leaving me at preschool rendition

Only his pants looked really nice when i picked him up :). Ahh such is the life of a child who loves his mother more than life itself. The worst part is he is going to AWANA's tonight and then on Friday I am dropping him off in childcare while I go to a bible study. I will pray for him though...and save up for therapy!

The boys are back in town!

So this labor day Kurt talked me into going down to Olympia so he could golf on Monday morning. Normally I would be ALL OVER THAT...aka, why yes, I WOULD love help with the kids, food and getting to sleep in. BUT, the last time we came home from Olympia, I almost quit my life. We were halfway home when traffic STOPPED. On the freeway. We sat there for two hours while all three lanes merged onto an on ramp to be routed through town. I have never been so helplessly angry at an inanimate object, EVER. Or all the people who can not merge correctly.
  That was a side note, sorry. So we did end up going down and it was fun as always. I really honestly love my in-laws so I got to hang with them and I love my girlfriends. It's really hard to see everyone when work and life happen. So when I was able to get together with two of them in one place it was amazing. We only had about 20 meltdowns for each kid in an hour and a half span but it was worth it to catch up for three minutes!Then another friend was able to stop by the rents for an hour, so so great!! The ride home was a success with no traffic, thank you Jesus!!
  Today was the first day back to school. Normally I am leading a parade down first street with my jazz hands flying when it's back to school time but this year the hands were a little sad! The kids have had so much fun this summer playing with their neighbor friends and each other that I hate to send them back! They have been staying up until 10 every night and getting up at 8:30. Needless to say, last night and this morning were a reality check. I had to go wake Hunter up and he is always a morning cuddler. He reached for me to pick him up and I did because he is getting so big. It won't be long until he doesn't want me to pick him up anymore or I physically CAN'T. I was holding him and I suddenly got a whiff of Old Spice. So I asked him if he was wearing pit stick. He told me no three times but then said "I have it on my feet, not my pits!". Awesome. So I managed to get two boys out the door in time for the bus, one with slightly nicer smelling feet than the other. Here is Cole. I want you to know he was opening the front door every two minutes because he wanted to be first in line for the bus stop...nerd...

That's for third grade FYI...OK and here is Hunter....

Yes his socks are up that high on purpose. Here is how Cole prepared for his first day...

Silas is always there for a "leg up"....wah,wah,wah.....

Man cut

I was super pumped to hear that JC Penneys was having a month of free haircuts for kids! How great is that? My kid's usually look like amazonian bushmen so this was great news for me.
   To be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to take them in. Truth be told, i have this weird phobia when it comes to "free" stuff. If I take said free stuff, I feel like I OWE them my business. OR I feel like a mooch. Now don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that this is a company decision and has nothing to do with the employee. This is just one of my bizarre issues. One of this day's I will do an entire blog...or two about all of my phobias.
  So I made the appointment and the only day that worked for our schedule was a Wednesday. No biggy, but I knew I was going to have to take all.the.kids.
  Imagine if you will feral cat's that have been thrown in an icy bucket of water. That is about the same scene anyone who had the pleasure of waiting in the seating area at the salon had. I really don't know what it is about being in public with the kids is but it ALWAYS brings out the worst in them. They cannot under any sort of threat keep their hands to themselves.
  By the time it was their turn I was sweating like a menopausal bushman and looked about as awesome. Thankfully once the boys were corralled it was fine. The only situation was Hunter using one of the chairs as a tilt-a-whirl. The poor girl cutting Cole's hair was having her first child, and I'm sure that after today she is wishing she wasn't having any.
  Here are the bushmen post grooming:

Titus the Toe Malizio

All of you who know me know I LOVE to find little things about my kids to make fun of. I know, I know, jerk alert right *here*. But seriously, is there any OTHER reason to have offspring??

So Titus is about eight months and is soooo sweet, I really dont' know where he came from. Silas who is three was snarky and sarcastic coming out of me. He even gave the doctor a sarcastic look while he was still coming out. Anyways, so Titus is so nice and so it took me a while to make fun of him. As in under one minute (which was the amount of time it took to locate his big toe). I have told many of you this story and pointed it out but this is just nuts. The kid could lose a thumb and his big toe would replace it...with added length. He uses his toe to crawl. The grip he gets from those suckers are about the same as a tentacle on an octopus. Let me show you...I warn you though, its not a great pic because The Toe doesn't stop for long.
That is my index finger just so you get an idea of the size. As I like to share, your welcome :). It makes me laugh more than you could even realise.
   On a side note, Cole had his tooth taken out yesterday. Something is wrong with him, I really think he feels no pain. They ripped out a nickle sized tooth and all he had to say about it was that it didn't hurt...and can I play the ipad now? weird. And that's not even what I mock HIM for.
Just so you know I do love my kids I will add a nice picture of Titus so you aren't all focused on his toe....

I know, cute right? Stop looking at his big toes....

Dentist

I named my post dentist only to titillate you dear reader, because who REALLY can honestly pass up a post named dentist?? That being said two of the man child's had their six month appointments. Hunter packed up five Lego guys while Cole chose Star wars Origami (this is reading pleasure for him, i would not kid...).
  Cole is called back first. Hunter and I sit in the waiting room. Hunter also makes many MANY noises, sounds, voices, etc. Being a super hero whose power is megaignore all, I didn't hear a thing. But I digress...the Lady who was cleaning Cole's teeth hustles him out and quietly says to me "He did GREAT buuutttt....he has an abscessed tooth."
  I immediately hear cheering in my own mind with confetti flying and fireworks. I win, I win!!!! Mom of the Year AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, how does a mom NOT KNOW her kid has an INFECTED TOOTH??!!! Well, apparently *this* mom. Upon further mental look back, I DO remember him saying something about a sore tooth but just assumed he was being dramatic and it was just ready to come out. No, no it wasn't....
  So needless to say, the hygienist was SHOCKED he wasn't in more pain and tomorrow we have an appointment to get that sucker pulled. Thankfully megaignore all was smart enough to take her kid to the dentist so that someone else would listen to her poor child's cry of pain.....
  Lesson learned I would hope...Cole did ask if he could keep the tooth. Between you and me, I know he just wants the moola from the tooth fairy.