A little sand in your shoes

So this kind of goes along with the whole idea of what I said yesterday, I have no goals :). But this past month I have been really allowing my heart to hear what the Lord has to say to me. Now hold onto your muffin tops, what I am about to say is going to be shocking....I am learning that I am created to be a reflection of Christ.This is not new information to me, but I am really allowing it to touch my stony heart! And guess what,this means that what I want doesn't really matter!!!

I know, right now the hair on the back of 95% of you necks is standing on edge. How could I POSSIBLY allow myself to put the rights of others in front of my own?? Won't I wake up one day, panicked, fat and STILL barefoot wishing I hadn't wasted my life living for OTHERS???? Oh the AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I know that the years I have spent fighting for what I want are soooooo worthwhile. Like having to keep up with how everyone lives their life's has been great on my credit cards....womp, womp. Or, feeling like I am a big fat loser for being "just" a stay at home mom with only an AA. I know that most of the time what I am saying is picture like this, because I pictured MY life like this before I knew what I "wanted".

 I can assure you, this is NOT the case.For a long time I felt like I was a loser for not working and making my OWN money. Or that I wasn't doing something for ME. I'm kinda over that lie.
  I want nothing more than to be what I have been created for, that is being a helpmate to my husband and being a glorification of God! Oh, that was nails on a chalkboard, wasn't it ;)!! Well I can promise you I am no where near where I want to be BUT I also feel like you can see I am a real person who wants nothing more than to laugh and make fun of myself and family, all under the umbrella of who I am in Christ! And now that I have set feminism back sixty years, I am going to go put my apron on and get myself pregnant ;)

Monday monday

I feel like most people grew up with goals in mind. Whether it be a lawyer, a photographer, a mom, whatevs it was for you. Well not me. I kid you not, I honestly had no goals. Well, not completely true. According to MASH, I was going to live in a mansion, marry a rich guy, have 18 kids and be SUPER skinny and hot.

Seriously don't know what happened...I was THIS close.... 1/4.5 of that came true because I have 4 of those 18 kids. I remember thinking that I wanted to be a horse trainer but KNEW even at that young age I wouldn't be able to afford it. For those of you who didn't know I rode/showed horses from like 11-17. It was an amazing experience but an eye opener. Knowing even then, it took a LOT of money to be REALLY good at showing horses. It's kind of strange that I knew that so young. Let me tell you though, I am so content not being involved in something that is a bottomless pit of emotion or money or time. I am thankful that the Lord gave me a SEMI content heart, not that He isn't constantly working on it! How many people do you look at and just SEE that it is never enough?? My wedding I think could have used a dreamer though :). My poor mom....I hated EVERY second of planning my wedding. When I said I never had any dreams, I meant it. Planning a wedding was like a bird pecking out my brain, constantly. At one point I told my mom I didn't care, she could pick whatever she wanted! Having a Hawaiian theme wedding was NOT on in my imagination though. I guess Kurt grew up with dreams of Hawaiian weddings...

Needless to say, I will be completely content with whatever my kids decide to be or do as long as they love the Lord with their whole hearts and work to the best of their abilities. Some people may say that this makes me a person with no goals....

I know!!! Taking the grossest pictures ever of myself is my goal in life ;)

where do they come from?

You know those mornings you wake up and wonder "where did these kid's come from"? It started last night when, after being in bed, Hunter came out of the room BAWLING. Kurt asked him what was wrong. Well, apparently he didn't do his 20 minutes of reading, which results in no signature. The way he was crying you would think they make the kids walk down a hallway while yelling "you didn't finish your reading, loser!!!" and throwing rotten fruit. So we told him we would wake him up early to do his reading. Kurt had to leave super early to go to work so it was up to me. I know, I'm laughing already, too!! By some miracle of the Lord, the kid's got up on their own and did their homework. My alarm went of a million times but for some reason I didn't hear it....weird.
So everyone gets off to school and I am getting ready to take Silas to preschool when I see two missed calls. And two messages. Both are from my OCD son. I love this kid. He is the one who got Hunter up to do his reading. He makes his own lunch and his dad's everyday. And smiles while making a mental check list of the awesomeness he accomplishes every day. It hurts to be that awesome. His clothes are ALWAYS stellar. He gets that from me...
So the message is him saying he forgot his lunch. So no worries, I swing it in. The office lady was laughing because she said he got right off the bus and ran into the office to call me. I told HER I brought him a xanax and a glass of wine to calm himself. His initials are VCM and little did we know his name would stand for very controlled malizio. The Toe will be proud to know him someday.
It's just so funny because we also have bipolar man who goes from super insanely happy to someone crushed his hopes and dreams of being a circus clown sad. Silas is just that way. He gets in the car from preschool and tells me he doesn't want his shirt on anymore

You may also notice the remnants of a mustache. The boys had mustache night last night at AWANAS. Silas would not allow me to wipe it off. Pick your battles people. He was also dancing while I took the above picture.

The one in the chair is his natural clothing for nap time, the nap he tells me EVERY DAY he doesn't want to take. And when I tell him he MUST put on pants to play outside he chooses *these*. Yes, they are his brothers 18 month old guido tracksuit pants. I'll let that awkward sink in for just a minute....
All in all, life comes together even if you have the most opposite people on the planet living together. Cole clearly gets his style from me...

Please take note of the carefully placed hair and the gently clasped hands to appear as model like and smooth as possible. And now, my mad dressing skills are always displayed for my children to glean from

In my defense, Kurt bought me those pants. I seriously don't know how I am not approached daily by those scam modeling agencies. Only someone who is truly thankful for all they have been given, including the most OCD of children, would post a picture of themselves looking that fab :)

Sorry for the delay

So it's been a while, I know. I have been really, really busy.

Just kidding, I'm lazy.
I do admit that I dragged my husband and kid's out to Jones Creek Farm to pick apples last weekend. It was so so fun. The owner and I used to do preschool together when the kids were younger and it's so great to support local farmers! Their apples are great and incredibly cheap!But honestly the best part may have been my beloved husband. Now, all of you men out there have been there. Your wife pulls the super excited jazz hands over something she thinks is going to be a life changing family experience. You on the other hand would rather sit on the toilet with your smart phone until your legs are so numb you CAN'T walk off without the aid of a wheel chair or one of your kid's as a make shift crutch. But the last sermon was on being a Godly husband and you KNOW she didn't forget it, because it was just two hours ago. And she took a notebooks worth of notes....and left it on your pillow. So being the ever humble servant that you are you head out on this amazing family journey.
So now we are back to OUTSIDE my mind...we get to the apple farm and the kids are seriously dressed in awesome. Like usual. I had to tell Cole he could not wear jeans and a jacket because it was almost eighty. At least Silas was not dressed like this.

He still won't believe me when I tell him that part goes in the front. So get there and the farm is set up with about 20+ rows of apple trees. All different varieties. I'm pumped. Kurt has a fat kid on his back. You can imagine his joy. We take the kid's down the rows of apples tasting to see what kind would be sweet enough. The kid's want to help pull the wagon used for carrying the apples while Silas is sitting in it. He wanted to play on my phone the whole time I am trying to make this magical family day happen. About half a box later everyone is tired and hot. The real kicker is they were all hungry. You did read that part about the tasting all the apples right? So I just want to go down ONE MORE row and about fifteen people have the same idea. It's completely blocked off with the other family wagons so I move to the side. The best part of this is, I'm pulling the wagon with Silas inside. As usual I am enjoying the moment and may not be totally aware of the situation. Kurt is behind me with fatty mcgee on his back praying that this will end. As we go around the other people the wagon tips and I just keep going. It's great. Silas is holding on for dear life, Kurt is looking at me in disbelief and Cole and Hunter are munching on apples watching it all go down. This was pretty much the time we turned around, the end of the magic. Silas screamed loud enough for everyone to think he was being kidnapped and we were awful parents. And believe me that was the FIRST time that has ever happened....

This was pre-magic. See that fat little kid on his back? That is like carrying a small adult.

Hahahahaha!!! Oh WAIT. Kurt was pulling the wagon also!! My bad, maybe that's why the magic was harder for him to see!!

Silas and Hunter helping.....

Cole actually was helping in this one :)!

He is chunky but he's cute!!!

Some of the goods!! Needless to say, it was a blast and we had a good time. I laughed a lot and enjoyed the day. Now I need to make something with the apples. I have said for the past week that I am going to make apple butter.

Just kidding! I'm lazy, remember!!

Fight club exists!!!!

For some of you who don't know, I live in the ghetto. I may not be in the projects or Antoine Dodson's home town but pretty close. No one's snatchin up our kids or wives

Since the weather has been amazing, the young hooligans have got the hot blood in em! Last night Kurt had gone to get the kids at AWANAS and Titus and I were hanging out watching TV. Yes, I was wearing a wife beater, Titus was topless and his diaper was down to his knees full. At least I wasn't eating Twinkies. I digress though....So I get a call from my neighbor and he tells me two kids are fighting  outside! Oh man, I LOVE IT when two kids go at it in the hood!! So you better believe I pulled myself up off this sticky couch and HAULED out to the front to watch it all go down. After I had my seat all set up and my popcorn in hand, I was able to really enjoy it all going down.
What we had was two boys from two different cars stopped and had themselves a fight club...from 1802. Now, I have seen a fight or two but I feel like these boys should have been wearing bloomers with how they were layin their smack down. Their dukes were up, I kid you not. And I feel like they were saying in their heads "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee". What must have happened was one boy slapped the other, in the face, with his glove....over a lady. Because here is a picture of the fight

It was odd but so great. The most disappointing part was how quickly it broke up!! They had stopped in the road so people honked before anything really good happened. But let me tell you, the baby and I sure enjoyed the show!! Why not bring a baby to fight club? Because Fight Club doesn't exist!! Yet another reason to live in Mount Vernon. And how much do I love that my neighbor called to give me a heads up about the show in the front yard.

Let there be COLOR!!!!!!!!!!

So every few months, maybe more like six, I get really sick of not having more "color" in my house. I go back and forth because I really sometimes want to keep it classsssssyyyy....BUT, I love love love me some bright crazy colors!!!! My friend Sarah has wanted me to repaint my boring chairs for years. Since I am a pinterest crackhead, I got some inspiration from there. Insert my happy face and wheel turning brain :). OK, so here is the original chairs

Boo, hiss, LAAAMMMEEE. So I headed to my local walmart in my sweats. When in Rome, duh. And I found THESE colors!!!!

I KNOW, right??? Fun!! Party in a paint can ;). My mother was trying SO VERY HARD not to give me the disapproving mother look. Shes a "cool" mom now, supportive and all :). So I sanded those suckers down. OK, OK, I kinda did. I'm lazy, alright? I did an OK job. First one was done and came out looking like this:

BAM!!! Love them!!!!! I can't even tell you how much I love this color!! Onto the next.

They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. Awesome. On a side note I ended up using two cans of spray for each of color. I didn't super love the spray paint and am thinking I will stick with paint from now on. I used a white primer/base for the chairs before I sprayed them. I also wanted to add a little something extra so I painted this on the chair but am not sure. I'm going to sleep on it.

Let me know if you love or hate it, just be nice ;). Done. Now I need a ding-dong and to find where my kids are....

On a side note I had a root canal on Monday because my tooth turned gray. What?????? I know, so gross. Have a look :)

It was dead. Cool. The doctor wanted to know if I had ever been hit in the face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sniff, sniff*, oh doc, your a HOOT!! I have four boys and I refer you back to my last post where my little angel punched my chest but missed my face. Not always that lucky doc. I honestly don't know when it happened but at least its all better now. Until another kid punches me in the face

And then there was one

So Silas started preschool today. The preschool I did last year was a co-op preschool. No, it was not a dirty hippie school where no one bathed or wore bra's and only dined on organic home grown mung beans while singing around Our light of the world campfire. It was one where the parent's ran it so we did work days and snack parent. We actually just sat around and talked about our epic parenting skills. The point of all that word vomit was that I always stayed in the class with the kid. He is used to my face. In his face. ALL THE TIME.
Last week we went for a little preliminary viewing. He clung to me the whole time while I proceeded to sweat like a hippo in Africa. Yes, they sweat. Google it. It was hot that day, don't judge. He had three other friend's that he knew from water babies but that wasn't really good enough for him. He was pretty pumped about his name in his own "mail box" and on the table where he is sitting. So over the course of the weekend I have really been talking up the whole school deal. I even talked up snack time when you know it's just a bunch of Cheerios and stale raisins us moms throw in a bag because we forgot it was our snack day.
When we got to school today, he was a little apprehensive but looked like it was going to be OK. As I walked towards his door he started saying NO, no, no. It was seriously the Green Mile moment. When we finally got to the door we walked in and I showed him his mat and where he was sitting. Nope, he was not having it. So my sweet friend Kendall who is the teachers aid was kind enough to grab him for me. The kid went nuts, folks. He was helicoptering his arms and legs and fully cold cocked my face, twice. I skipped down the hallway and let those jazz hands fly!! Good luck teachers!!
Here's the BEFORE the "long walk"

I know, so precious. Here's the leaving me at preschool rendition

Only his pants looked really nice when i picked him up :). Ahh such is the life of a child who loves his mother more than life itself. The worst part is he is going to AWANA's tonight and then on Friday I am dropping him off in childcare while I go to a bible study. I will pray for him though...and save up for therapy!