Squirrel

I am the WORST, EVER. at paying attention. Fairly certain that I had to write this sentence about four times because I couldn't remember what I was typing. Just to make my husband happy, I took an ADD test online. I can't remember what it said but I think I failed because I saw a squirrel....

I cannot even begin to tell you how often I have asked my beloved husband to repeat something he said. He does not enunciate!!! It's not my fault!!

"woman! PLEASE! If you tried you COULD pay attention!!!!!!!"
I really, really do. This is how it goes in my head.
Enter; husband. "Hey, so I have to tell you about......"
Me: OK, I'm going to use my razor sharp wife paying attention skills! I'm ALREADY a good wife!!!!!!Bring it husband!! Lazer like paying attention.
Husband: And so if you.....blah, blah, blah, blah....
Me: Holy cow, I need to pluck my eyebrows...I was totally going to do that yesterday but after being distracted by my toe hairs that rivaled that alpaca I saw on the Internet I totally forgot....I think it looks like this...

Oh jeez,I also totally forgot to shave my toe hairs. EVERYONE is going to know that I have to braid those suckers....
Husband: and just put it.....blah blah blah
Me: Oh for the love, he is halfway through saying what he was telling me. Is there any way to salvage this so he won't know I was thinking of sparkly things and uni brows??? Maybe if I read his lips for a minute....

His lips are little like mine...our kids have little lips....I wonder if we are going to have to have surgery or if our lips are going to be swallowed up by our faces...

I wonder why our lips are so small...along with my beady little eyes....I should start doing bead art again!! That was fun!!
Husband: Anna!! Anna!!
Me: *POOF* I was listening!!!!!!

Husband: OK, what did I say??
Me: You said....wow, I'm super hosed right now...I still like bead art though..